Broken Hearted

Salutations & greetings where ever you are in the world, I hope this message finds you well & hope you will be blessed by it.

It’s taken me a long time to write my first post. When I started I knew what I wanted to accomplish by writing publicly, but was unsure how to go about it, but I know I am now ready & Christ will be my strength. As I write this I am still very much broken hearted and in a process of healing and restoration many Christians go through on the road to salvation.

Over the years as I have tried to move towards the righteousness of Christ, I have struggled to find fellow Christians to talk to about my past or areas where I have found the most challenges & difficulties. I hate to “think” or “suppose” where the matters of Christ are concerned, but in this one instance I will. In my experience I have found people really don’t like to be open about who they are and where they are coming from, but if you don’t know or hide where you are coming from, how can you know where you are going?

Sometimes people don’t want to be open because they feel ashamed or are afraid they will not be accepted by others within the church. People like the idea of being saved & having a brand new “rap-sheet”. “Born-again” without the tarnished past, but is this what the bible shows us? This causes so many problems, not only because others struggling with the same issues or troubles can end up feeling isolated and as if they are the only ones who have failed; but also because it leaves a false impression or understanding of the healing process & the way in which Christ works in all of us.

When I look at the story of  the woman who bled for 12 years (Mark 5:25-34), one thing stands out to me; the fact that we still read her testimony today & it is as powerful as ever. There is no shame in Christ, He has brought us from shame to life, and at a price. Does that mean I’m perfect? No certainly not, but made whole in Him & He truly is the author a finisher & I believe 100% that He will complete the work He started when He first called us.

When I first gave my life to Christ I remember thinking this is it. I remember singing the songs and pouring out my heart to God and feeling so happy and complete (something I had never ever experienced). Little did I know the journey had just begun. It took me falling to really understand how much pain was held within my heart & how messed up and broken I really was. Even as I write this tears roll down my face and that in itself is part of the healing process.

Walking with Christ is exactly what it suggests, “a walk”, a journey, one which continues beyond the realms of this earth. Depression has always been a battle for me as long as I can remember, one which I have fought constantly. What lays on my heart is that this topic is very rarely discussed amongst Christians and in some churches it is even seen as taboo. As I write I hope you will be encouraged and gain strength, but know you are not alone.

Revelation 12:11

11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.

This scripture is what encouraged me to write. It is clear in its meaning. Not only was satan defeated by the Blood, but also by the power of our testimonies as the saints of God. It is important for us to declare our triumphs and share them because these are our weapons. They not only encourage others, but encourage us ourselves as we testify. It reminds us of what was stolen when we walked in blindness & the life we left behind for a better one.

It will take time. I want to share my story with you and hope you will share it with others too. I hope you can be patient as I write, this is my life story and it will take time for me to get it out. If I can leave you with anything on this post it is this:

Jesus Loves You & He will never take His love away nor stop fighting for you, so you fight too x

I take each day as it comes

3 thoughts on “Broken Hearted

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