A few weeks ago I had a dream and I saw myself walking along a road in a sort of field and to my right there were some people (I would say two or three), and they were talking about me. I don’t know quite how to put it but they were talking about my work for Christ, my writing and ministering to others. I felt a feeling of contentment whilst this was happening and then I heard “she still thinks it’s by works”. All in all, this dream lasted no more than 5-10 seconds it was more of a scene than complete revelation.
Now because I was really tired and the dream was so short I thought it to be my mind, but I still made a mental note of it. I had no idea how relevant it actually was!
What I didn’t realise was I was about to have a mini breakdown the very next week. It began when my eyes were opened to a weakness in me. When this happened I began to feel condemned and like a hypocrite. How can I minister to another person or write when I still haven’t dealt with this issue I have?
That’s where my trouble began. When this happens to me I can’t minister to others, my prayer life falls and bible study suffers and it’s no mystery that the conclusion is I feel distant from God.